The Taping of Shattered Hearts
by CailinIreland8794
Summary: Susan remembers the boy she fell in love with on her last journey to Narnia. She realizes that Aslan was wrong to send her back to "her" world. Will true love reunite or will it be too late? Based on the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian movie. Suspian
1. Breaking Through

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia of any of C.S. Lewis's fictional characters, but I wish I did because Caspian X is hot!**

* * *

Chapter 1: Breaking Through

The rain hit the windows with a million thuds. No sunlight was escaping from the windows of the classroom of which Susan Pevensie was sittingin. The professor went upon teaching his lesson on the different aspects of physics, but Susan was in no way paying attention. Her thoughts were elsewhere… in a land filled with tiny dwarfs, brave mice, scary and mighty minotaurs, and the ever-so-fearless centaurs. Ever since leaving, reality had been so much harder to grasp. She had trouble telling what was real from what once was. She didn't want to leave nor did she understand the fact that they did. Aslan… sure he had his reasons but she could never really think that she was ready to leave Narnia forever. She might have learned everything that was needed from the grand place but she now felt so accustomed to the place that she could no longer function correctly in what Aslan thought was her world. Narnia was her true home. It had been where she had grown into a graceful and charming lady. It had been where she'd met the one that now never left her mind – the one who had blown her ivory horn and summoned herself and the other Pevensiesiblings back to Narnia. It was he who she fought alongside to help him regain the thrown that was rightfully his. She had seen him at his worst moments. She had once been saved by him. She had to say goodbye to that face which had called her there. It was there, in that science classroom at St. Mary's boarding school, that she became engulfed in the memories of him. Caspian. She opened her eyes and reality fell upon her. All her classmates were staring at her – questioning her sanity, for she had just been in hysterics a moment ago. With the feeling that she might just burst, nothing came to her but the instinct to run. And so she did.

* * *

She ran with ferocity as she went down the London city street. The tears that streamed from her eyes flew away because of the harsh wind blowing in her face. She didn't belong here but where else, besides Narnia, was there to go? Nowhere. Susan knew that and it definitely was a major reason behind the tears she cried. People stared but Susan was too devastated to notice. She thought back to when she came home, the second time, from Narnia.

..............

The train station was dark - a good resemble of her world now that Caspian would not be there or any of the brave and loyal Narnian creatures. She was shocked that everything was just as it was before, not a thing out of place - even a hair. They were in the station, getting ready to board a train back home. They, as in all the Pevensie children, stared in amazement in how things changed back so quickly. It was a reality check when they heard a voice call, "Phyllis, are you coming?". Finally coming into reality, the Pevensies looked at each and then gathered their things. They rushed onto the grand ol' train and the doors closed in front of them. The doors of Narnia seemed like they were closed forever for Peter and Susan.

Susan didn't look as if she was upset but she was good at masking her emotions. She mastered it when she was living in Old Narnia as a wise Queen trying to settle and calm the Narnians. Inside was an eruption of worry and misery and loniless and every emotion that could be felt when what you love most is taken away from you forever. Susan didn't know how she could go on knowing that Narnia was basically non-existant to her now. If there was no human way possible to get there, how could it now exist to her? At least, this is what she said to herself when she caught herself thinking of Narnia... full of life and magic and love. In her eruption of emotions, something stood out; a thought that told her that she could never forget. Everything she knew in Narnia would stay with her as long as she lived, and as long as her soul went on. The memories could never be washed away.

So, Susan tried to live as best she could. Living in England was so boring when compared to living in Narnia. She had to be strong for her younger brother and sister. She secretly was jealous of Lucy and Edmund, because they had been told they were going back and not her. She despised herself when she did so but it still didn't go away. She would go upon her usual acts when at home. But something was missing; she just wasn't herself anymore; she changed when she was ripped away from the person she cared so much about. Her mother constantly asked her if she was alright. Susan would put on her mask and lie to her like always. School was also a burden she had to face. It just made her all the more depressed inside. It always seemed to rain now.

...............

The tears kept on rolling off of Susan's face and the wind wipping through her long brown hair. Passing buildings left and right, she soon arrived at the train station. She sat down on a bench and wondered if Aslan was serious when he said **never** coming back. Didn't the Narnians want her there, didn't Caspian want her there? Why would Aslan do that to them. Could this be hurting Caspian like it was her? She got up off of her stone bench and went to the ticket booth. A very plump and short man sat in the booth reading a book. To his surprise, he looked up to see Susan. She didn't know exactly what she was doing and didn't think Peter would approve, but she had to get out of this town. So, Susan, through her tears, went onto say, "One ticket to anywhere, anywhere but where I am right now." The man was confused but nodded anyway. Through the slot in the window, he slid Susan a ticket. She picked it up swiftly and read the where to. She was getting on a train in 5 minutes to Liverpool. Susan thought to herself that she should call her mother, at least, and tell her where she's going. But soon the thought surpassed... it was time to board. So... she took one deep breath and walked grudgingly toward the doors of the train. She took a seat and prayed that she would not be in too much trouble when she came back. Then, she wondered if she would come back. A few more people got on the train. Some stared at Susan's current state. Others stuck to their books and newspapers. The doors wooshed shut and again Susan felt similarity between the closing doors and her life. Life was ending in this town and starting in another.

Susan stared at her feet, trying to keep her eyes from the surrounding people. She knew she was still crying and people could hear her. As she kept staring at her feet, she noticed something. The ground would look one minute like the floor of the train then to the flower-covered ground of a field, but her feet didn't feel the difference. She looked up and out the windows. Something similar happened: outside of the windows, the scene would change from the drabe English countryside to a field of flowers with a sunny sky. The field looked like it was straight out of a fairy tale. Susan thought herself to once be living a fairy tale. She couldn't believe that after Aslan had confirmed that would not, that she indeed was coming back. Alas, the surrounding people and train around her disappeared and she was sitting on a tree stump in the fairy tale field. Off in the sky afar, was a castle. Susan stood up and spun around taking in the scene she was now in. This had to be Narnia, or that castle she had spotted was a dead-on replica of the Telmarine castle. She stopped and looked in that direction. The castle was bright now. It didn't remind her of a burial anymore (since so many Narnians had been killed in a "surprise" attack there); it reminded her only of the hope that Caspian brought to the new Narnia. But one question stuck in her head... what time was it?

* * *

Check back! I wrote more! Go me! I'm clapping for myself right now - you just can't see that now, kenya?! I 3 all of you that added my story to story alert and wrote messages. I have some ideas for the next chapter but if you wanna give me some ideas too that would be great! It's hard to keep up with school and this and all the other stuff in my life, so sorry I haven't written in a long time. It was hard to get back into the story but I luv the characters so much that I had to get into the mood. Caspian and Susan almost always star in my dreams... only sometimes. Okay... Caspian does more but whatevs. I'm gonna make myself write soon. I'm promising myself and yous guys.

Next chapter: I'm thinking that maybe we should go to Caspian's point of view? Or give a little more on what Susan's gonna do next?

XOXO ~Cailin


	2. What Should Be

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Chronicles of Narnia or any of C.S. Lewis's awesome characters. I do own the movie though - on dvd - haha! Sorry for my awful cornyness!

Warning to the Chronicles of Narnia book-lovers: this isn't based on the book, its based on the movie (the 2nd one)

**Chapter 2: What Should Be**

A sunset in the Far East shone in the land of Narnia and one lonely king sat on a bench from his balcony staring it down – part of his normal routine. Nowadays his day would consist of a hurried breakfast, an hours-long meeting with the high importance men (and now some women) and creatures of Narnia, a quiet dinner and what he was doing now – staring down the setting sun, waiting for the stars to show themselves. He always prayed that he would see a shooting star so that he could wish upon it and be granted what he wanted to be there so badly. His life was a constant string of conflicts and he just thought that they would all disappear if he had a little help from some old friends.

Time had passed the same as it did in Susan's world so it had only been about a few months since the two had parted. Caspian had to be strong and not show signs of this weakness, but inside it was killing him the same as it killed Susan. He didn't know how he could miss a person so much when he had only known them for a short while. Maybe it was the bond they made when fighting side by side or the way she inspired him or maybe it was simply her spirit and her all-around way-of-being that made him fall for her. The day she left was considered one of the hardest days of Caspian's life, next to that of the day his father died. It was a day he wishes he could forget and yet it stuck with him so vividly. In fact, this is exactly what was in his thoughts right then, as his eyes burned into the setting sun.

* * *

It was heartbreak letting Susan go. Watching that strong, beautiful, and inspiring person slip out of his life. He didn't know how he could restrain himself from reaching out and grabbing her to keep her there, the place where he knew she belonged. Yet, he did know the reason why he didn't and that was because them leaving was what Aslan thought was best and there is know one who is wiser than Aslan – he would trust Aslan's word forever after living through what he just had. The feeling he felt for her burned and it felt like Aslan was taking the most precious thing from his life. Inside he was conflicted… how could Aslan do something that was killing him inside and how could he be a hero at the same time? He thought about the challenge he had ahead of him and the things he would have to do on the road ahead – how could he get through this without them? When they had come he felt like salvation had found him… now, it felt like he was doomed again. But why couldn't Susan stay? Why couldn't Aslan say Susan was allowed to stay? How come Aslan couldn't see how he felt about her? Didn't Aslan know everything?! Thinking these things just made Caspian tense-up even more. As he watched the last of the Pevensies, little Lucy, slip out of sight he felt the heavy burden amongst his shoulders even more. He stood standing at the tree for an hour. Then, he sat down, staring the opening down. He couldn't believe that Susan and the others were out of his life this soon. The sun had set in Narnia and he was still there waiting for Aslan's request to be reversed, that what had happened wasn't supposed to happen and that it would be fixed. This isn't the way things should be happening?

It was late night or early morning when Professor Cornelius found Caspian, struggling to keep his lids from sliding shut, still sitting by the tree. It took some persuasion to get him from the spot, but with all the trust Caspian had in the man, he had to give in some time. In his bed, he lay awake, still thinking that they would pass back through that tree at any moment.

* * *

It took a while for Caspian to get used to things around the castle – his now being king and all. He was a born leader but things were still tough, especially with Susan, the girl he knew he must love, not there with him. He even wished for Peter's expertise. He tried to sway his mind from the thoughts of them for awhile but it wasn't worth trying, it was a hopeless situation for Caspian. And right then, in the present time, his hopeless thoughts remained the same even though he had gotten into this frenzied routine.

Thoughts of a beautiful girl, so gracefully fighting alongside him and so brave, and so genuine. The unique one that held his heart – she was like no other.

* * *

**Author's Note: I really enjoy writing for y'all. I wish I had more motivation to write more - life just gets busy and its hard to find time. Next chapter will be up by the weekend. Sorry that this chapter is short!!!! Should I start out with Susan's entry next chapter? Help me decide!!**


End file.
